Posted by: hualalaihale | July 26, 2013

5 Reasons Not To Stay At Hualalai Hale

There are many sites dedicated to telling you why you should vacation in Hawaii.  They rave about the benefits, the views and urge you to take your next vacation in paradise.  We, at Hualalai Hale, have decided to do the opposite.  Here are some reasons why you should NOT vacation at Hualalai Resort:

1.)  You hate Luxury.

Master Bedroom at Hualalai Hale

Absolutely abhor it. You despise being pampered and feeling like royalty. When it comes down to it, you’re all about roughing it – you’d rather sleep on dirt floors then in luxurious king-sized beds.   You prefer splashing your face with rain puddles, then soaking in a jetted tub. We get it, you’re the king of the jungle.

2.) Views. Yuck. Who needs a view?


Sure, you could watch idyllic sunsets dropping over the azure pacific ocean.  Whales breeching and dolphins frolicking in the ocean? Pshaw.   You’re beyond that.  You want tall buildings, flat land, or sticks.  Yes, that’s it. Just throw some sticks over a barren field and you’d be thrilled. Who needs lush green mountains or lava flows anyway?

3.) You don’t care for cooling off in pools or lounging in jacuzzis.


The Pool at Hualalai Hale

In fact, you want to go camping in the dessert.  You like sweating, your parched lips cracking in tepid temperatures.  I mean, swimming in your own personal pool is very overrated, isn’t it?  Who needs to relax in a hot tub, when you could sip water from a cactus!

4.)  You’d rather stay in a Yurt instead of a four-star resort, in your very own luxury home.


Yurts make you feel like you’re communing with nature.  Ignore the fact that you can swim with native fish, lounge near turtles on the beach, or learn about native Hawaiian culture from experts.  Nothing says real nature like a yurt (and the colder the weather, the better).

5.) Warmth.  Tropical Warmth. Gross. No thanks, I like the Arctic.


Hualalai Hale Pavillion

Sure, you’ll have balmy breezes, warm Hawaiian weather, and near-perfect temperatures. That’s disgusting.  We know, you prefer snow, and lots of it. Glaciers if possible.  Bring on igloos and polar bears, in fact. (To be fair, there is snow in Hawaii, if you should visit in the winter.)

So there you have it.  Five reasons why you should NOT stay at Hualalai Hale.  Who needs a perfect vacation when you can have real life?


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